We have a winner. Lucky for me, and the winner, I won't even have to go to the post office to mail it to her, she's a local. Otherwise it would probably take me till Christmas to get around to mailing it since my post office runner went to NYC this week (such a brat).
Kristi you are the winner!
This contest gave me many moments of what the heck did I write that for? And also, a few thoughts of depending on how you look at it, this too may be a lie.
The honest (hah) to goodness, outright lie is #1. I did not change my name before we went on our cruise.
And now a little explanation for the rest of them....
#2 Yep, I have a liquor license. That was our business in CA, bars.
#3 Ok this is one of the half truths I was talking about. It is also the one that I looked back on after writing and thought, hmmm that may not sound appropriate. Here's what happened. We were swimming this winter as a family at the indoor pool at the gym. I swam many laps on my own and got out to shower in the locker room before the rest of the family was finished swimming. Because I had kinda overexerted myself in the pool, I was shaking and having a hard time balancing. I walked into the locker room and noticed that the showers were on the other side from how I remembered it. I shrugged it off because the gym is large and I figured I had just entered a different way than I normally do. And really, I was just trying to put one foot in front of the other at the time, so I wasn't worried. I place my stuff on the bench near a shower, start the water, and begin to de-tankini. I grabbed my top to take it off and I see a guy walking down the shower stall hall. Immediately I figured out what I had done and said something like "oh my gosh, I cant believe I did that." The guy was so nice he helped me grab my bag and got me out of there. Passing two or so more guys on our way out. Definitely one of my most embarassing times.
#4 Also, a half truth. This all came about a week ago, and I still get all goofy excited whenI think about it. I've watched the VIetnamese Nail Salon routine, and also the Bon Qui Qui skit with Anjelah Johnson. Passed it along to a few people, talked to a lot of people who have seen it, etc. I kid you not, I would watch Nail Salon and think, "this girl is just wearing a t-shirt and hoop earrings, but she is gorgeous." Mike, the kids and I had also began using lots of the phrases from the two pieces in our slang. Especially the Bon Qui Qui "Secooority!"
Fast forward to our CA trip last month. Mike is with some friends we have known and gone to school with for years. The guys were playing cards. Mike didn't like his cards, so he would yell "Secoority".
We go back home to UT, and are shopping at Toys R Us, when Mike gets a call from one of the guys playing cards. He says, "Hey, remember on Saturday when we were playing cards? You kept yelling Secoority, like Bon Qui Qui. I didn't say anything to you at the time because I was mad (he didnt use those words, but you get the pitcha) at the cards I was getting too. So I keep meaning to call and tell you, the gal that plays Bon Qui Qui is my sister-in-law. "
HIS WIFE'S SISTER! I was dyin', there in the Toys R Us electronics area. Squealing, th' whole nine yards. When I came to, I begged him to get me a signed pic that reads, Clisty 'I will cut you'. I just might even get to meet the gal, maybe he was just making nice to the crazed fan when he told Mike that, but I believe. I believe.
So that's how I justify that as my connection/half truth.
#5 Yes I did win the lottery. True. We sold scratchers and the one where you pick numbers at the bar. The guy who delivered the orange and cranberry juice to the bar would always buy lotto tix. Well, his numbers came up one day and he walked away with 3 million. CA state lottery also rewards the store who sell the winning ticket with 1% of the winnings. So we won $30,000. We paid off the remainder of the bar with that money. woo. We also 'won' many other lottery prizes. See, so many of the bar patrons would play and win several hundred dollars on the lottery. Problem was, they couldnt claim the money because they hadn't paid their taxes (in years), or they would have a warrant (or twelve) out for their arrest, etc. Sometimes we would claim it for them and split the winnings.
#6 I most definitely was Head Cheerleader my senior year. And not a very good one at that. I would never do things the normal way, I always wanted to go different.
#7 Yep, I only dated Mike. That's it.
There's a birthday party to get ready for, so I better skidaddle.